You have questions. I have answers.
What qualifies you to be my friend?
That’s a valid question. I’m not trained as a therapist or a coach, and I 1000% support you availing yourself of those professionals too, if you are struggling in a major way, or if mental health challenges are affecting your life and your relationships. I am, however, a patient, kind, insightful person who has likely either had the problem you’re currently dealing with or helped talk a friend through it. (The good news is that, if you hire me and don’t think I’m doing a good job, you’re under no obligation to keep me around.)
What’s it like to work with you?
I like to believe that I’m a pretty chill hang! But seriously. I want this to be fun, even when we’re talking about hard things or I’m telling you that perhaps you shouldn’t have snooped in your partner’s phone last week (which, well, you shouldn’t have!). The relationship we’re going to build should feel like a friendship, if I’m doing my job right, which does mean that things can get pretty emotionally intimate and soul-baring. No matter where our conversations take us, I am nonjudgmental and caring, and I strive to make clients as comfortable as possible. Our work is a dialogue, part of which is regular check-ins about how you’re feeling as we go through this process.
Are you just a bot posing as a human?
It’s a fair question! But no, I am a real person, and I promise you I will never outsource communication to AI or any kind of chatbot. If you feel icky about the possibility, I am happy to verify my realness when we start working together, in much the same way I recommend you confirm the identity of people whose profiles aren’t already verified. It’ll be good practice for the real thing!
Can you guarantee me dating success?
Absolutely not. I’m not a sorcerer, and even if I was, I wouldn’t use my powers to coerce unwitting people into dating you! We’re dealing with real live humans here, and we want them to have agency and autonomy. So, while it’s a bummer that even with my help,. you’re rolling the dice, it’s for the best, right?
Why is nonmonogamous dating so difficult and lonely?
It’s partly a numbers game. Despite its growing popularity and greater awareness of ethical nonmonogamy, most people aren’t practicing it. That means that the folks you usually turn to for help or support, no matter how well-meaning, might not always give great advice or be able to be present for you in the way you need. It hasn’t always been easy for me either! You’re not alone here.
I’m not poly. Will you help me too?
Yes, of course! My work is geared toward ethically nonmonogamous people, because that is my area of expertise, and I think they need my help. But anyone who wants some support in the wild world of dating is welcome here!
Needing to hire someone to be my friend is so embarrassing!
First of all, that’s not a question. Second of all, does it help to know that you’re not alone? So many ENM/poly people struggle with finding support outside of their romantic partners. Frankly, I think that asking for help is something to be proud of, not embarrassed about. I hope you’ll come to see it that way too.
Will you write or edit something unrelated to dating or nonmonogamy for me?
Absolutely! Head on over to my freelance writing and editing website, freshstartwriting.com, to learn more about what I do.